I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
