Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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