sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
