Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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