12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize