You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
