that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
