I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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