It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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