i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
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The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
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You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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