I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
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I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
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Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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