in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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