I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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