I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
