Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize