me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
