C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize