He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
