we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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