What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's never too late to be topless.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
