In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
