just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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