is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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