Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
