I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
