come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Dick very happy bro
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
