Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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