take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
