what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
