I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize