Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
