you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
two words: eviction party
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
