dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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