I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize