Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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