I'm passing your future prison.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Randomize
