At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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