I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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