i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
