and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
