I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
