playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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