He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
