Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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