u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
