Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
