Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
