I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize