I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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