guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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