I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
