As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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