he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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