he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
