Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think my mom watched the whole time
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Randomize
