Just cropdusted the office
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize