THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
