If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
