M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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