Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
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I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
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They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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