Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
