Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
