Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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