the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
